Disclaimer: In theory, I should be posting on my blog about fall/winter 2017 Canadian fashion right now, but to be honest, it would not be genuine (at this moment).
Over the past couple of weeks, I had to come to terms with the reality that I was not balancing everything on my plate as well as I should have been. My grades were getting significantly lower than last semester, the bags under my eyes significantly darker, and I found myself breaking into tears every so often worrying about how I was going to get everything on my list accomplished through the next day, the next week, and the next month. Whenever I’d head out of the house without makeup on, people would ask what was wrong, and if I was getting sick or something. I even lost the will and inspiration to write on my blog, which usually was a 20-minute escape from the hustle and bustle.
Accepting the fact that I was not keeping up with all my responsibilities, studies, and projects was only half the battle. The other half was embracing it, realizing that I can’t do everything at once, and taking the time to prioritize.
In the midst of the Canadian fashion craziness that included FashionCAN, TOM*FW, and TW FW, I also had three exams scheduled, and of course, had to keep working on assignments that had fast-approaching deadlines as well. And that’s when it hit me. I was not balancing this life thing at all.
Let’s take this story back a couple of months. At the end of last semester, I found myself getting A’s in four of my five courses (a couple percent short in the fifth), successfully having facilitated/taught two classes all semester, more or less kept up with my blog and relevant events, and even in the midst of final deadlines and exam prep, I made it out to New York three times in the month of November to visit Igor while he was on business, and on top of all of that, committed about 15-20 hours to my part-time job every week.
Needless to say, by Christmas, I was feeling like an exceptional girl boss who had the world under her wing. So heading into the winter semester at school, I decided to pile on even more to my plate, and challenge myself further. After all, I felt that during the fall I had plenty of free time, therefore I could easily fill that free time with more “stuff” heading into 2017.
Well, I was wrong. By adding more to my plate (organizing a charity gala, planning an entrepreneurs’ luncheon, a sixth course at university), I took away the most important thing to my sanity: rest and relaxation. Those days and hours that I felt had gone by unproductively in the autumn, were in fact the rest I needed for my mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
So back to where we are today: about ten days ago, I came home from school, and as I sat down to open my Finance textbook for the first time this semester (five days before the midterm), I realized this was not working, at all. Thinking over my priorities, my opportunities, and well, my sanity, I made the decision to drop that course. Though this instantly led me off the path of fast-tracking and graduating in April 2018, I instantly felt relieved.
Of course all my problems didn’t disappear as soon as I hit “Drop”. But at least I started to accept the fact that I burnt myself out, and I started taking action to fix it before it got even worse. Most importantly, I reminded myself that there are few real deadlines we need to meet. Graduating a certain year isn’t one of them.
So here I am, ready to take care of myself, and prioritize. Of course I will never have a dull moment, but at least I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll need to kick back and relax every now and then in order to come back stronger.